#because if they accepted it then they'll probably accept everything else right | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

paulinet · 3 months ago

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Love jinx

Part 1, part 2, part 3.

Warning: SFW, NSFW!, comfort, profanity, unknown gender, lewd talk, Medicine Pocket ooc, headcanons, blurred boundaries of a genderless reader, implies your job at Laplace, Medicine Pocket - they/them.

Synopsis: what comes after the recognition? That's right, an official relationship looms on the horizon. So what will they be like with such a chaotic partner?

Word count: 3000≈

From the author: I don't know how long my desire to write anything will last... I really love it, but I change my tastes and hobbies too quickly. So if I disappear for a long period of time, it's okay. I come back, usually. With Medicine Pocket, it's impossible not to get back to writing, you know?

I'll probably write another piece of headcanon on this topic and then try to develop the drabbles, it's been a while since I've done one. Doramas occupy my free time, it's fun to get inspiration from there.

English not my first language!

Enjoy reading!

SFW

Please accept my sincere congratulations if you have become a Medicine Pocket partner. It means you can hold their attention for so long that they fall in love with you.

Please prepare yourself for the fact that they've been hiding a COLOSSAL amount of energy since they first realized their crush and they plan to let it all out.

Finally they can cuddle with you indefinitely!!! They've finally gotten to the point where they can drag you on walks for hours without hesitation! At last they can touch you not as a friend, but as a lover?? God, hold that newborn puppy.

They will really act like a puppy for the first while. Perhaps a little superficially, doing completely trivial actions, but understand, this stage of the experiment they've been stuck on has lingered and they're just thrilled when they have the right to continue!

They still don't understand even themselves. What are they doing? Why are they doing it? Medicine Pocket just follow their heart. If they want to hug you, they hug you, if they want to kiss you, they kiss you. Now they can do it.

And no, they don't look stupid, at least not in your eyes. Sometimes they blush, sometimes they overreact like a volcano or geyser, but only for the first few months. Afterward, they'll just react... Internally. Because they'll have already been through it, and it will be easier.

They look at a lot of things through a "dog is man's best friend" prism. But the situation here is that they are not your friend, they are your partner. Your lover. Does that change their worldview? Not much.

"Medicine Pocket!"

"Huh? What do you need?"

"Hey, have you been listening to me at all?! I'm talking in front of you and you're flying in the clouds and looking at Y/n?!"

"I'm not allowed? Just say it again."

"Damn it, Medicine Pocket! You're not yourself! And Y/n keeps look at them.... Did you guys have a fight?"

"Ms. Regulus, I don't think it's any of our business-"

"What do I care! I don't like my friends acting weird."

"...Hm-m-m... Hm-m..."

"Ms. Regulus, I don't think there's any friendship between them now."

"What??? Mr. Apple, do you think they quarreled to the point where they are now enemies? What nonsense! Those two have never gotten to that point."

"Miss, look closely."

"What else is there to look at?"

"Do you think friends get that look?"

"Hm-m?"

"I mean, have you ever seen Medicine Pocket look at them like that before? What kind of friendship can we talk about?"

"I don't understand."

"How should I put it... I think they're lovers."

"Uh-oh... Huh?!"

Tight hugs. Medicine Pocket are very clingy partners, it is important for them to touch their partner somehow, whether it is a hug, holding hands, touching each other with skin or through clothes - everything is accepted. And everything is given back in the same volume.

"Medicine, take pity on your back. Better stand up and stretch properly if you're tired."

"I'm more than comfortable."

You wouldn't be so worried if you weren't sitting in different chairs and the distance between you was enough for Medicine Pocket to reach up with your whole body and hug your neck, resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Comfortable hanging like a jelly worm at the table?"

"Quite. Plus, they're tasty."

"Jelly berries are better."

"No way."

"Look, I don't doubt your stretch, but move closer then at least."

"Why do you care so much how I sit?"

"We're in a meeting."

Not that they like to shout about your relationship left and right, but they are not shy to show such small (and not so small) actions in a big crowd or at important events. Everyone knows everything for a long time, and those who are not satisfied - they are just jealous.

They don't know how to kiss. Yeah. It's not as bad as you'd think, but-- They're bad at it. But they learn fast! Just give them a couple sessions, oh, they'll love it. I'm sure you won't either.

If you can't do either, they can tease you for a while. Until it becomes clear that they are no better. Then they'll just grunt with a half smile. You both have a lot to learn.

Their kisses aren't even kisses at first. They're wet, emotional, ugly, you never know where they'll kiss you. But their favorite places are the lips and the back of the neck when they hug you from the back. If they have the chance, they'll kiss your shoulder.

They bite. They bite a lot. It doesn't matter where - almost you go has red bite marks, gritty skin from hickeys, and minor bruises when they hold you during coitus (I think they have pretty tenacious fingers). Of course, if there are places that hurt you too much, including your genitals - naturally they will remember them and not touch them. But biting is a way for them to show how much they like you.

If you want to bite them back, the first time you do, they'll give you a shocked look. Like, wtf? You're finally doing the same thing to them???

"... What was that."

"Sorry, I mistook your hand for my eclair. You won't be waving them around when you talk."

"... You're lying."

"You can't prove it."

"... Y/n."

"No."

"My darling..."

"Medicine Pocket, don't you dare."

"You're finally getting into it..."

"Medicine-"

There is a belief that if you don't speak your partner's love language, they will assume that you don't love them enough. It's a 50/50 situation here, but after the first time, get ready for them to get impatient for more biting. On their part, they will continue to bite as well, even more actively.

They 100% like your hair, whether it's short or long, but they favor the latter. Sitting and braiding your hair is soothing and your hair stays intact. But if that doesn't present itself - they like them too. Sometimes they need something to keep their hands occupied, you know?

"Please tell me, do you take me for a yorkshire terrier?"

"M-m-m...? What makes you think that?"

"Why do I have so many little tails all over my head?"

"You're just a hedgehog, get over it. If you snort..."

"Medicine Pocket."

"I get it, mhm. But isn't it cool? You look like a badass metalhead now."

"...Do you want to be on the team?"

"Huh?"

"Give me your hair, Doggo. I don't have to suffer alone."

They use all sorts of different nicknames for you, from the most banal "sweetheart" and "darling" to "pest" and "dumbass". The last ones, of course, are pronounced with more restraint.

In our case, they just eat something in the middle of the night after a tiring job. The emptying of the dog treat supply is attached.

Accept the fact that they have quite rowdy friends, just like themselves. Regulus and X alone are worth it. So don't be surprised if they start grabbing you and dragging you into all sorts of mischief. Don't worry, Medicine Pocket is usually always at your side, you'll all get what you deserve for your shenanigans.

They like loud music. Something like rock 'n' roll or metal, maybe electro or something, something half with meaning and a cool rhythm. So a lot of times when it's just the two of you, it's just the three of you: you, them and the music. They're fine with it. But! they'll turn it down if you're resting or you really, really need to concentrate. They know how to respect other people's concerns (in particular, just yours).

Everyone knows what dog people are like. And now you're in that category too. They always have at least 2-3 puppies running around at all times, and you have your own personal miniature guards. They yap at anyone but you. If you want, one will live with you (although it's probably illegal to keep animals specifically in rooms, but who says you're a law-abiding employee?) It's just a shame that the cats now smell dogs from you and avoid you.

Your personal doctor. Stomach ache? Take the pills in the third drawer of your desk. Horrible throbbing in your head? There were pills in the locker on the left, they don't seem to be gone yet. You need pads? They put them in the bottom drawer on purpose, they should fit you. Are you physically injured? 0.5 seconds, they'll digest the information on the fly and treat your wounds.

No one stammers on their qualifications, but you can't worry about pills and help.

They do not like to accept help when you try to support them morally. Even though you're partners, they just don't understand that help. They don't need it. They can handle it on their own.

Don't talk to them during this period. Don't try to get into their thoughts, moods, etc. Do not try to help, it will only make things worse. It doesn't matter what the situation is or how they come to it, whether it's another attempt to "humanize" Lucy or the failure of a very important experiment they had high hopes for.

Just, uh... Stick around. You know, somewhere. Walk around (just quietly), do your own thing, hum something, maybe even talk to yourself. Just do whatever it takes to show "I care. I'm here for you."

When this is over, they'll come to you. They will just crawl under your side and ask you about something that happened in their absence. Even if Medicine doesn't say anything for your help, know that they are grateful to the very depths of their souls.

NSFW

And this is where the difficulties begin.

Medicine Pocket don't identify themselves as any gender, moreover, they have no reproductive organs. And at first, you have to wonder. But they don't really think about it.

Why? Because they don't care too much about the topic at first.

They may not have a specific doctor's education, and I lean more towards veterinarian, but since they sometimes act as a doctor, we can conclude that they have some sort of doctor's education, which means that the subject of sex is not taboo for them at all.

This researcher is not one that desires you 24/7 and has an unconscionable amount of preferences.

Let's be honest, they probably aren't interested in such a thing as sex at all.

I believe that after the removal of reproductive organs they have lost at least half of their sensitivity in intimate places, if not all of it. They feel pain and all that, but they never really enjoyed it. They have many other ways of doing it.

I'm inclined to think they're asexual. And that explains their lack of interest in sex and such things, but just because they have no interest doesn't mean they can't be interested even a little bit. They have you now.

Yet, they love you more platonically. Hugging, kissing, spending time together and talking are priorities for them. Sex is just another nice perk you can explore together.

"What do you think of shibari?"

"How long ago did you start shooting in the forehead?"

"When I had to stick syringes in the board instead of darts. So?"

"How can I tell you my opinion on something I've never been involved in?"

"Solitaire."

"Medi, do I look like someone who's ever used it? I've never thought about tying anyone up."

"Who said you'd tie me up?"

"Same question for you."

"... "

"So you wanna try it once?"

"Fuck, which one of us has a libido at rock bottom?"

"What? I'm actually interested in this kind of thing for scientific purposes."

"I bet you've got a list of 1,000 and one ways to make me orgasm somewhere."

"Are you following me from this bottom with a camera?"

"Jesus, you're-"

They often wave off such ventures with phrases like "it's for science" and "I want to experiment with this...", you may no longer be surprised. Just say "yes" as you would to a phone scammer.

By the way, they have no desire to experiment with different places to do this. There's still something where their boundaries are strictly crossed by signaling tape. No prying eyes. Not even dog eyes (children are forbidden to look).

Even though they are chaos in its true incarnation and ruin the lives of half of Laplace, they aren't completely fucked up like many people think. When strangers to both of you look at you, their faces reflect only one emotion: pity for you.

Like they think you're, uh... Another animal to experiment on. And now let's think about the not-so-innocent thoughts that go through their heads... Uh-huh.

But really, Pocket is more than normal in all of this.

For example, they have their own rules when it comes to intimacy - nothing traumatizing. Nothing that could somehow cause harm or leave a more severe injury than a bite, a hickey, or a small bruise.

Yes, you'd think they'd be willing to experiment like mad scientists with evil intentions. The truth is, they are if it's interesting to them. And there's a lot of things they don't know, but not everything interests them enough.

They are pretty good at flirting, although they may not realize they have said something obscene. It's only when you hint at it that they realize. And they're pretty good at it directly.

If you flirt back with them, they don't get excited and flirt back. They just lose their filter, you know?

"I have a very important question."

"I'm busy, let's do it later..."

"It's urgent."

*deep sigh* "Just a minute."

"Is your heart free?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course not. I've got atria and aorta and ventricles and stuff in there."

"...That's not what I mean."

"I have no other heart."

"..."

"Is that it?"

"Oh, fuck you, you ruined my attempt at flirting."

"Are you fucking flirting with me?"

"I'm trying, thanks for noticing."

They're clearly leading this whole thing. Leading and not getting anything in return. Seriously, they don't need to be fucked back like they do you.

They enjoy watching you squirm in pleasure. How you wriggle against their hands or tongue, how you moan, how you beg them to continue. That's their ultimate reward.

But I think they would really like it if you praised them afterwards. Tell them what a great job they are doing, pat them on the head and just put them down. +100 for mood and everything.

They are willing to experiment, but not often. If you want to try a different position, some role play, toys, etc., they will definitely try it with you, if it is unconventional and interesting enough. But, uh no, anything to do with dogs in this regard only makes them disgusted and distrustful.

But I think they favor missionary and cowgirl, but only if you sit with your back to them. It's easier for them to control the situation.

They don't really care if it's going to be with clothes on or not. They're fine both ways, but if you have your own fetishes about it, well, they'll take that into account.

I wouldn't say they are immediately very caring partners afterwards. They will definitely check how you are feeling and then lie down next to you to rest. Then when you both have the energy - you'll clean up together.

Okay, fair enough. Medicine Pocket will have a really hard time admitting to themselves for the first time that they suddenly want to try something with you other than hugging and kissing. Like, why? They don't need it, and all of a sudden-

They are complete wrecks before they even start. But not shifting wrecks, but disappointed in themselves. It's not that bad, but they're a bit doomed.

But when the first time goes, it's a little stiff, it's a little different than a lot of people say, like, "wow, that was so great" or "that was a hot night." No. You just let each other relax the first time. Trust. And have fun with how idiotic they are.

I slide the comb up and down, and the hair becomes more manageable under the plastic tines. The tangled, messy strands line up like a ruler into something more pleasing to the eye. Finally, silence.

Emotions from the hard day are fading, and so is the urge to drop everything to hell. It's time to savor the minutes before bed. It's still illegal for two people to sleep in the same room - who follows the rules anyway, huh? Especially out of the two of us.

"Ha-ah, finally can lie down. I'm tired," — a heavy body thudded against the bed beside me. I set aside my hairbrush and fix my gaze on them, my lips involuntarily spreading into a smile.

"I think you're making my bed squeak louder," — I decided to tease a little before I suggested a topic for the evening. I didn't care that my bed wasn't made of wood but of iron, I could hear the mattress creaking.

"Just send in a request for a new bed, that's all."

The sheer calmness on their part alarms me, and also the fact that they don't take their wrist away from their eyes or look at me. Maybe their eyes are just tired. Anything's possible.

"How easy you have it. It didn't squeak like that before you started sleeping with me," — I chuckle, but decide to stay out of their way. I can tell by their voice that they're tired, so I just lie back on the pillow, spreading my arms out. My feet stay in my slippers on the floor, and we both end up taking up almost the entire bed in different positions.

"It's like I sleep with you every day."

It's true. Some nights they stay in my bed, and some nights I can't even wait a week to sleep together-who predicted an easy job all the time? Mercuria certainly won't predict anything easy.

"I'm not so heavy."

Oh, yeah? You'll be about 70 pounds if you're tall. I'm just saying:

"The bed doesn't care whether you're heavy or not. It'll bend without any external force."

Medicine finally sigh, and turns to face me. The look in their eyes is so... Mocking, after the fatigue. I guess I shouldn't have started this.

"Why so wistful? Like you want it to be an outside influence," — I press my lips together. Depends on whether they mean dumping a rather heavy Lucy or one of their adult dogs onto my bed. Or them.

I don't really feel like asking someone to take money out of the Laplace budget for me to buy a new bed. Just to give me money, I'm all for that.

"Don't count on being able to wreak chaos in my room."

"I was counting on it from the moment I walked in here."

"Thinking five moves ahead?"

"Always."

The corners of their lips twitch, but it doesn't come to a smile. Instead, they stare at the ceiling and make a indefinite hand gesture toward the rest of the room.

They're kind of pensive today.

"You've got this place so clean and tidy it's rippling in my eyes. Why do you like cleaning so much?"

I don't understand. I raise up on my elbows and look around. The table is littered with papers and Picrasma candies, a toy ball from the last walk is lying in the corner, clothes are hanging (trying hard) on the chair, and that in a crumpled state. On the floor are stacks of books from Laplace's library. Oh, right, need to give them away sometime.

"Is this a joke? Is my place in order?" — I stare at they like Christmas paraphernalia in a midsummer store window.

If order to them is my room, then... No, I know what chaos is. They're smiling through their teeth, staring at me now. It would have been better if they had kept their eyes under their arm and lay still further.

"The question is over. I'll assume I'm in order," — I sigh and lie back down on the soft pillow. I'll never take my head off it again.

There is silence between us for a while. I stare at the ceiling, and so do they. We're both in a state of boketto. It's been a long time since I've seen Medicine Pocket so... Pensive or something. Regulus would call it the calm before the storm.

Suddenly, they sigh loudly and beat their hands on the blanket, then sit up and move closer to me. Their looks are somber and clearly do not bode well as their head falls on my chest, and then they are relatively calm again. Sometimes I wonder if they have mental problems with expressing emotions, but no, during the experiments they show their full range of emotions.

My only question is, why do they have such a sour look on their faces lately?

Throughout the week, almost every night we spend together, they are like this. They just lie like that for a while, and then suddenly they go into the state of a child who didn't get candy.

And I decide to voice the question, also frowning:

"Did fleas bite you?"

Oh, I should have been softer. As it is.

Medicine Pocket shot me an angry glance and lowered his head again. Was that too rude? I'll never know how to talk to them. Their mood is like an arrow on a compass: one way or the other.

I put the back of my hand to their cheek. I don't know, maybe they're having another attack of love for me, and the energy is pouring out of them, and they're afraid to say so.

But their cheeks are just warm, even cool. Mentally I spread my hands apart and give up.

I'm used to it, but sometimes it's not just me who gets alarmed, so I had to be sure.

I slowly run my hand through their snow-white hair, spiritually rolling on the floor again from how soft and manageable it is. Why can't I have one of those?

"Sorry. Is something wrong?" — I soften, so as not to scare them. I'll still fight them to share their worries with me, it's too early to give up.

For a few seconds they are silent. But not their face. Medicine is the kind of person whose face is subtitled, and so it's not hard to tell what they're thinking even if they're silent.

First displeasure. Then disgust. Shame. Doubt and decision. Drum roll...

And...

Silence, eyes lowered into the blanket. Only their arms come around my waist and hug me tightly. I run my hands over their white strands, finally accepting defeat.

This goes on for a few minutes until I decide to turn off the light. Clap-clap and the lights go out, leaving only the faint glow of the nightlight on the nightstand. I love Laplace for its technology, honestly.

I suspect I'm not going to have a heart-to-heart to them. And just when I was getting comfortable, lightly covering my tired eyes with my lashes...

"Have you ever wanted to fuck me?"

And I open my five-kopeck eyes. Incomprehensible, surprised, I look at them through the darkness, and they stare at me point-blank. It's not sickening or unpleasant, but rather incomprehensible. The surprise on my face is not worth describing.

I'm just shocked.

"B-be specific. Why the question?"

"I should have asked at some point. Did you want it or not?" — you'd think they'd have no brakes at all. Just like that, head-on, like a truck, flying in and asking. But I can see in the nightlight the soft blush on their cheeks. Only now the meaning of the question reaches me, and I feel embarrassment rush to my fingertips.

"N-no, well, not that I want to..."

"Anyway, yes or no?"

"No," — I decide to be honest. "At least I hadn't thought about it until now."

To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it. It hadn't occurred to me since the moment I found out they didn't have reproductive organs. There were oh-so-many questions in my head at the time, but I had to keep them all quiet out of respect for them. And now they are so successfully (or not) resurfacing.

It doesn't seem to be the answer they were expecting. Their expression softens a little, but they're still scowling. Resting their chins on my chest and pouting pale lips.

"Would you like to try it?"

At this point, I just stare at them like I'm seeing them for the first time.

What do you mean, "Would you like to try it?"

I stare into the yellow eyes, but I see nothing but genuine interest. And insolence. Damn the fact that they were scientists, and they had to feed their demons, too.

So, what, now it's me?

And now he's gonna feed me to them.

I don't want to be eaten.

I lift my head and stare aimlessly at the iron ceiling, as if to avoid the conversation. Would I want to have sex with them? On the one hand, like yes, but on the other... Because of the fact that they, uh. As if to say, there's "nothing" for them to do with me. Would that be fair?

"How do you envision it?" — no, really, how?

"Do you want me to explain it to you in detail or can you figure it out for yourself, hm?"

"Medicine, damnit. Since when do you want to discuss this topic?"

They're silent now. They must have swallowed their tongue. No, seriously, it's... It's so weird to discuss this topic so abruptly when there wasn't even any premise! I sigh and spread my hands.

"I mean, not that I don't want to, it's an optional part of a relationship, but... of course I do, don't you think?" — honesty is kind of my forte, but in this thread, I'm a little... Ugh. Not embarrassed, but it's really embarrassing.

They continue to stare at me, and then rise and now hover over me without taking their eyes off me. Have I mentioned how serious they can be when they don't want to miss an opportunity to get results anytime soon?

Uh-oh... W-what are their actions implying?

"You mean you're okay with it? Great."

I dull my gaze somewhere down at their white T-shirt, stained with whatever it is. Nice stains, colorful. I think for only a couple seconds.

"I think that's what I need to ask you."

The expression on their faces changes to more confused, but in a mocking sort of way. They pout their lips slightly, and use one hand to lift strands of my hair up.

"Pfff, don't tell me you're too embarrassed about all this. It's not like you're five years old to have a topic like sex hidden from you."

Sometimes I really want to push them away to get them to back off, but it's such a situation that the topic will come up again sooner or later. Tomorrow, while we grab something for breakfast at the Laplace Cafeteria. Medicine Pocket and tact will clearly never cross paths. Only sometimes when Ezra or the other kids are around. Mesmer has warned they more than once about filtering they vocabulary in the presence of others, but it's like they listen to her.

"That's not the point."

I glance sideways, toward the window. It's well past midnight, and we're still awake. I'd give anything right now to be able to fall asleep in seconds like my mom.

"So fucking explain to me what's wrong?"

They glare at me expectantly. Inhale, exhale.

"I'm the only one who's going to enjoy sex. I don't like that," — I clapped them on the shoulder, not sure what I was trying to say. Comforting? That's so stupid. "You said yourself what bullshit it is and that you don't even need sex. So you're only going to fuck me, and I don't want to feel guilty that you won't have a good time either."

I'm expecting a flood of judgment in my direction. Come on, no pause. I'm really curious as to what made them want to sleep with me. No, well, I'm certainly not a beauty to be given a Miss Universe award, but actually...

They snort. Before I can prepare myself for a wave of anything, they beat me to it.

I stare at them again, uncomprehending. They don't hide their mockery now, just pout their lips, as if they'd foreseen this result before...

"Medicine Pocket," — I cross my arms over my chest in annoyance. "You knew I'd think that, didn't you?"

They make a gesture like it's "fifty-fifty", and I want to strangle them.

"That's not fair."

"Hm-m?"

"I'm actually concerned about your pleasure too! And you... You..."

"Bastard. Asshole. Come on darling, I like it, keep going," — they burst out laughing as I use a good amount of force to slap them on the shoulder with the palm of my hand. It's really not fair!

I sulked, shooting them a lightning-fast glance from under my hair. So they've thought this through from the very beginning, long before this conversation. Sometimes I think they'd punch the panzer of anyone's heart and make it beat to their previously thought-out rhythm.

Oh, that's me. I mean, they're testing it on me.

"I don't mind."

The rules of this game they're playing are starting to become clearer and clearer in my mind.

"You mean?.."

"If you're going to enjoy yourself physically while I fuck you, that's fine with me. Especially since who says I won't enjoy the process at all, hm-m-m?"

It's the end. I felt my heart break, beating so fast, so fast, like it was scared of something. Of course it's scared of something, damn it. Medicine Pocket deftly guides his fingertips down my thigh, scuffing up my t-shirt.

"Just imagine how much you're going to moan under me while I-"

I don't even want to know what expression I have on my face, I cover their mouth with my hand and stare away. Out of embarrassment. I try not to pay attention to the sudden sensations in my body from their actions. I probably look really stupid in Medicine Pocket opinion, but that's not what I care about.

My concern is that conversation is conversation and they're seriously offering to fuck me... Right now?

And in that snide tone of voice. And they're giving me something to think about.

Mommy, I'm going crazy. My ears are throbbing.

"Are you suggesting to me right now...?"

When they start smiling through my hand, I'm suddenly released.

This dog will drive me to the pen before old age or paperwork.

I take my hand away. Mine and theirs off my stomach. I wonder what they'll say.

"Why not? Especially since..."

"No."

"Hey, why not?"

Because the cancer on the mountain didn't whistle and the sky didn't burst into rainbows.

Forcibly, by the back of my head, I put them back on top of me. They pout, but they don't say anything. Still hoping their game will continue a little longer than my firm no.

"If I talked to you about dying now, and then offered to let you die, would you accept?"

"Ha-a, you're being dramatic again."

"Not at all."

I finger the white strands as Medicine intertwines our fingers. They're not sulking, no, not offended or disappointed by this conversation. Rather, all the accumulated stuff that was keeping them from thinking properly has come out of their soul.

When later they put their arms around my waist, pulling up my T-shirt, I don't protest, either. I just feel my fever rising again. We're both very tired, and I don't think anything good will come out of the business they suggests we try.

I chase thoughts of the conversation around in circles, staring out the darkness of the window. Their cold hands gradually warm against my skin, the fresh air from the ajar window mixing with our scents.

I don't feel disappointed by the conversation, but its abruptness doesn't let me go, nor does the warmth in my cheeks. I'm probably still red in the face.

And when their hints of what they're about to turn me into come into my head, I feel even worse.

I tuck us in with the blanket and close my eyes with the thought that someday this will come true until the knot in my stomach lets go.

"Good night."

Someday I'll answer them in the same coin.

I wanted to write this part faster, but there was no way the text wanted to flow until I wrote it in first person... It was something of a mess, and for the first few hours I was completely annoyed with how it turned out, until I sat down to edit. It came out well enough, it turns out. I also kept thinking I'd written too little, and when I sat down to edit, I realized I'd become my own enemy.

Anyway, there will be one more installment in this series (???) and then I'll be writing something separate. Hopefully the text will flow better there.

Thanks for reading!

#medicine pocket x reader #reverse 1999 x reader #medicine pocket reverse 1999 #medicine pocket #reverse 1999 #x reader

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posttexasstressdisorder · 11 days ago

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"Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own, and control, the corporations. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back poskets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year, lobbying. Lobbying, to get what they want.

Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want. They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don't want well-informed, well-educated people, capable of critical thinking. They're not interested in that. That doesn't help them. That's against their interests. That's right. They don't want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they're getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin' years ago. They don't want that.

You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing of pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now they're coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They'll get it. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place. It's a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in The Big Club. By the way, it's the same Big Club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long, beating you over the head with their media, telling you what to believe, what to think, and what to buy.

The table has tilted, folks. The game is rigged. And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good, honest, hard-working people--white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hardworking people continue--these are the people of modest means--continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don't give a fuck about you. They don't give a fuck about you. They don't give a fuck about you. They don't care about you at all. At all. At all. And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care.

That's what the Owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that being jammed up their assholes every day, because the Owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."

--George Carlin, from one of his monologues in the mid-'90s...THIRTY fucking years ago....

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monkey-network · 1 year ago

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Good Stuff: Bluey's The Sign

Bluey is still great and I don't need to go into why again. What's most important is that even in such short time of knowing this cartoon, you can see the growth of it all. Joe and the crew share how the world of the Heeler family gets to learn, adapt, and grow without rapidly warping the status quo. You go through and see how everyone is able to work through rough and weird times with sincere maturity. Season 3's Finale is where this all comes to a head and it's as beautiful as I expected, MORESO.

Brandi got to be happy would've been enough for me

The Sign deals with the idea of hard ideas. Those hard ideas that aren't inherently about change, but issues that when faced with initially, it feels like a bad ending. A bad ending which can't be easily fixed and you don't know where to go from there, and it hurts. It hurts when hard ideas swoop in, ruins your mood, festers your mind, and leaves you aimless. Bluey shows that it happens, this is the rare time where a ton of crap hits the fan in one day and it's not something Chili or Bandit or any adult can fix right away. I've never experienced this, but I felt the pain Bluey, Bingo, Frisky, and Chili went through where they're bargaining, burying, and avoiding confronting a potential reality they didn't want. This is where the real hero of the special comes in...

Haven't said before, but Calypso is a masterful teacher

The parable of the farmer works as an incredible seedling thought for Bluey when she reveals her moving. It's not a story I ever heard, but known the message all too well. The message of not just accepting bad things that happen to you, but know that it'll never be the end of the world because of them. Don't think of it as deep, but a natural motif to grow with. This is where a debacle regarding the episode churns with me. It can seem like a cop-out that every character gets what they wanted by the end, as I said before the cartoon can be more idealistic than what our real life allows. Then again, the true beauty of Bluey I believe has always been if it's possible, the family will find a way and do it responsibly.

If happiness can be achieved, they'll know how to get it

Beyond all this, the special is great. They waste no minute here in art and storytelling, and as said before, it's like Smash Bros Ultimate where everything is here. There are great callbacks to episodes you probably wouldn't have thought about, on top of getting to see the whole Heeler family on Chili and Bandit's sides like that blew my mind. Plus I love seeing weddings, dude, like I wish I was there with them. The feels are tsunami-ous like it's unfair to say this is the all-time best episode of the show, but darn if it wouldn't be earned.

When else will I see the epicness of riding shotgun?

But to conclude, it's been said that after this the Ludo crew will take a indefinite hiatus from Bluey the series, especially when they have a new project underway. And honestly? I'm more than satisfied. The show could've ended here and I would've been somewhat at peace with them giving us this beautiful episode. I of course didn't get into this series since its beginning, but I came around the right time to enjoy it myself, to see others recognize its greatness, and to finally make it here. It's great to know this was only another chapter in the book, and I'll see to be around when it gets to come back. As for The Sign? What else is there to say?

It was Beautiful. Cheers to the crew for everything.

#Bluey #bluey cartoon #bluey the sign #the sign #cartoons #reviews #Good Stuff #long post

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actual-changeling · 1 year ago

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Muriel isn't a child, they're not stupid or immature, and they CAN take care of themselves—with that, welcome to Alex's unhinged meta corner, hinged edition.

We need to talk about Muriel, so let's dive right in.

Despite the way many people depict them, they are the exact same age as every other angel, fallen or otherwise, and treating them as lesser because their mannerisms and expressions don't match up with what you think an 'adult' should look like doesn't mean they aren't one.

Not to speak of the ableism that's inherent to that kind of thinking, and actually, you know what? Before I keep talking, I want to ask you a question.

It is very common to talk about Muriel as a 'child of divorce', being 'adopted' by Crowley, someone 'precious' that needs protecting, and a lot of titles and concepts along those lines.

The question is: If, say, Uriel were in their place—sent down to earth after not being there for more than five minutes ever—would you still call him everything you call Muriel now? Would you treat him the same way you're treating them?

Would you see him the same way, and if not, why?

The question is, if any other angel were in Muriel's position, would you also infantilize them the way you currently do with Muriel?

Feel free to actually answer that question on my post or in your own, because I am genuinely curious about the reasoning, especially behind 'no' as an answer.

Heaven completely neglected them just like they did with everyone else, they were completely alone in a big, empty white room with nothing but a glass desk and presumably a chair for six thousand years—and probably even longer than that. Having someone ask them a job-related question every couple centuries doesn't even BEGIN to scratch the surface of their social needs.

When they came down to earth, it was the equivalent of one's first day at a new job, at university, at school, anywhere you had not been before but now plan on being for a while.

You come across others that have been there for twenty years and look like omniscient gods from your point of view; they run the game while you don't even know which game you're supposed to be playing. This is one of the reasons why they read as autistic to many, including myself, because that's exactly what every social situation feels like to me. That's for another post, though.

Of course they're socially awkward and easily overwhelmed! They were dropped off in a capital city after—and let me emphasise this once more—being completely alone for millennia.

The highest of the angels ordered them to do a specific job, like, fuck, I'd be having a nervous breakdown in the lift and curl up in a corner for a few hours because that thought is terrifying. Especially because failure is not something heaven accepts. Especially because they know what happens to those who disobey or disappoint in whatever shape or form.

When we see them, it is in that exact situation—talking to their bosses that they've likely never talked to before, arriving in a new world, being around new people, in a new environment, new everything. It always reminds me of this quote from Modern Family.

Muriel was assigned a rank and job just like everyone else, and they deserve the same respect and acknowledgement for it as the Guardian of the Eastern Gate or the Archangels themselves. Muriel is probably really fucking good at what they do, they've had millennia of practice, but we simply never see them in their everyday situations. Give them some time and support, and they'll be up to speed in no time.

They are not a child—don't treat them like one.

#alex talks good omens #muriel good omens #autistic muriel #good omens fandom #good omens #good omens season 2 #go2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #alex's unhinged meta corner #muriel meta #alex's meta minisodes

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reorientation · 2 months ago

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hey its me (🧨 anon, the ftm in college..) some updates!

the roommate who i actually share a room with had his friend over recently and i guess they thought i couldnt hear them cause i had headphones on (i wasnt listening to anything, its just a comfort thing) (probably a defense mechanism from when i was a girl to keep guys from bothering me, lol. ironic) but wow. men really are completely different when there aren't any girls around.

i kinda thought i knew what this guy was like, given that we've been living together for a good few months, but i was wrong. him and his friend spent about an hour talking about the girls they've fucked, or want to fuck, or whatever, and it was really... sexist? one of them talked about his ex and basically bragged that he ruined her life, the other lamented the fact that girls weren't as "easy" as they used to be (except for freshman girls, he said. we're all in our final year of uni). it was so objectifying and surprising, and made me realize that as much as i thought they treated me like one of the guys (i think my original message said that, i forget) they really don't.

obviously i jerked off until my vibrator died right after they left. because i'm pathetic. but it made me notice other things about the living situation. I'm always the one doing the dishes. I'm always the one buying toilet paper and sponges and making sure the stove isn't totally disgusting with grease and stuff. They do chores too, of course, but i'm pulling more than just my weight. i can't help but feel like they see me as a housewife or something.

also- didn't end up wearing the skirt im sorryyy :( but, i did buy a really tight crop top. i wear a binder with it but my "bisexual" roommate was definitely checking me out when i was making dinner the other night. very hot.

just figured i'd update you & everyone, i can't tell if i'm in over my head or if i'm living the dream. we're all staying in the city after graduating and they're asking if i wanna renew my lease with them. i initially figured i'd live with a friend after the lease ends but now i'm thinking of staying. idk!!!!!! idk......

-🧨

(Previously)

(probably a defense mechanism from when i was a girl to keep guys from bothering me, lol. ironic) but wow. men really are completely different when there aren't any girls around.

Your self-concept is already slipping, isn't it? Even from one sentence to another: "when I was a girl" lapses into "when there aren't any girls [like me] around".

Maybe that's because you're seeing how slippery and conditional your position as "one of the guys" really is. They strut around in their underwear, and you can too - as long as you're willing to ignore how their eyes follow you when you do. They'll chill out with you, and it'll feel laid-back and open - but they won't really talk about girls, not while you're listening.

I wonder if they even fully understand how they're treating you. Maybe they don't; maybe there's just something in their hindbrain that says you could fuck her when they look at you, and everything else follows from that.

So: is that what you want? Whether they understand it or not, they won't stop looking at you like that. You can either move on... or accept the role. Wear tighter clothing, except for your binder. Wash their dishes for them. Let things get a little less censored and cloaked every day, until they're all smacking your ass when you walk by.

You've found out that they'll never really treat you like one of the guys, and you've found out how they like to treat girls. Which one do you want to be?

#kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm girl #ftm detransition kink #reor: anon life story #detrans kink

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ohbo-ohno · 2 years ago

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Don't really know what to do with this thought so I'm sharing this with you, but Ghost and Soap getting on a tram one day and the only seats left are next to this timid looking thing, trying to make herself as small as possible, silently hoping these two big men will settle for holding onto one of the poles or handle bars above. They clock in on her immediately, pretending to be kind and polite, making her feel safe as they sit on either side of her, boxing her in. They learn her routine and always get on when she's on.

Slowly, they start to cop a feel every once in a while, apologizing because 'it was an accident' and she doesn't think much of it at first, but she cant help but think something is off about them the more frequently it becomes, so she settles for standing up the next time she gets on the tram, holding onto a pole in the back corner. They'll probably leave her alone, right?

Soap and Ghost get on and see that their new toy has moved from the regular seat, obviously trying to avoid them. They're upset, and instead of leaving her alone like she hoped, they stand next to her, Simon using his body to block the view, though it doesn't really matter to either of them if anyone sees, and Johnny gets behind her to trap her between the pole and himself. They tell her not to make such a fuss as they take turns groping her because what would the people think if they saw her acting so slutty in public?

There's nothing she can do to stop them. It happens every single time she rides the tram now and she can't go on a different one because it's her only mode of transportation to work. It even gets to the point where Ghost and Soap can take a turn to fuck her before her stop because she's so quiet and good for them. They just have to remind her to keep being quiet and good as they fill her up with a load to drip down her thighs throughout her day. When they can, they steal her panties. One day they'll steal her away, too.

- 🥍

hey woah woah. how dare you infect me with these brainworms. not cool! (i love you)

nsfw in link but here's some fanart of ghost doing exactly this ask to soap

cw: noncon

i know a lot of people dislike reader inserts because the reader tends to lack agency, but i personally think it's hot for a character to be taken advantage of and very much so enjoy this image

you probably cant tell from literally everything i've ever posted on this blog but im a big fan of johnny and simon just doing whatever they want to you and you can't stop them. always leaves me melting to imagine them just... not caring whether you want them touching you or not. horrible men

i love this because i can just imagine the increasing discomfort and awkwardness as they push the boundaries of what's acceptable every day.

it starts with johnny just resting his thigh against yours, and yeah its a bit odd that his leg follows you when you try to give him more room, but you figure he's just being a dick and manspreading. and you can't go very far, because you'll bump into simon :( you scooch away from johnny a tiny bit and suddenly there's a big hand on your knee from simon, to hold you still and let he and johnny press against you as much as they want

i also like the image of you sitting in the corner with johnny boxing you in from the other seat and ghost standing in front of you to block every one else's view. johnny maybe leans over you, panting against the top of your head with a hand up your shirt using your tits as stresstoys :/ maybe moves down to sucking at you neck and when you look up you see ghost just staring down at you

ghost having you sit on his lap when you try and stand up one day. sits right behind you, wraps his big hands around the front of your thighs and tugs you down so you're sitting on him. pushes the back of your shirt up, pulls open his pants, and has you warm his cock for the ride :( doesn't fuck you, but maybe he rubs your clit and that + the little bounces of the bus/train moving get you off

#🥍 anon #asks and answers #ghoap x reader #bo writes #this is SUCH a freaky au #genuinely thank you for sending it to me :)

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cocoavanille · 1 month ago

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Glances and shirts | (jealousy+party)

It's getting warmer finally, early spring makes evenings lively and anticipated yet they still hide inside a restaurant in the red light district with good food and a pole on the stage – nobody's missing Tsubakino's new dance routine. In the last two and a half years Sakura's life changed a lot: he learned how to trust the right people, accepted himself to a certain degree, became somewhat a leader (said people insist a good one but he's not convinced) and even got a boyfriend. They've helped out many around town and happened to save this restaurant from getting turned upside down and the owner getting beaten up, so they're always welcome here.

It was a fun night. Past tense. Now he's starting to get more and more annoyed by the second.

Sakura's not easily jealous – mostly because Suo isn't the type to be flirtatious with anyone not in a joking manner and couldn't care less for anyone else's attention. It's usually the other way around: Suo stares at people from behind when they try to hit on him for whatever reason. Sakura swears he once felt an upcoming wave of straight up rage when Endo was being too friendly. The scene wrapped up pretty fast then thanks to Chika pulling Endo back by the hair with a look of "sorry my dog is being a bitch today". Good for them he guesses.

Now something was different. After Tsubakino's performance Suo went up to chat with him and the guy making his blood boil joined them a couple of minutes later – establishment's owners' son. Tall, quite handsome, all smiles. Bastard. Tsubaki is with Umemiya in the back of the room and these two stayed where they were. Suo isn't flirting himself, no, rather seems distant and keeping up with the conversation purely for the sake of politeness but the dude reads it the other way. He can just feel it in his bones.

Suo looks fucking gorgeous today in this silk black shirt, especially from the back. Would be nice to claw his shoulders when they're done here. The owner's son shoots that glance all over Suo again and his mouth involuntarily twitches. It's okay, he thinks to himself, Suo isn't in danger or anything, he should calm down. But the weird feeling in his gut says otherwise. He tries to immerse himself back into conversation Kiryu, Kaji and Nirei are having but then sees how the bastard offers Suo a drink that he turns down firmly, posture changing. The asshole tries to keep him talking, laugh it off but Suo's on guard already. Hell no, that's his last straw for today.

– Enjoying the evening?

He didn't mean to sound that intimidating, putting his hand over Suo's shoulders, eyes locked at the opponent. The guy sheepishly smiles obviously choosing between playing dumb and leaving without an excuse. Suo looks at him with sincere surprise and that pisses Sakura off too but they'll have this conversation later.

– Yeah, aha! Was about to leave, dad probably needs some help.

Coward. Sakura points to the opened can the guy wanted Suo to have.

– Sure. Need this one? I'm thirsty.

The hesitation tells him everything he needs to know.

– Uh... How about I bring you a new one? And your friends.

�� How about you drink it?

Suo smiles innocently, gesturing with an open hand like asking a magician to perform his trick to convince the audience wizardry is real.

Sakura grins when the guy turns bright red and then pale, remembering who he's talking to.

– Should we call our friends to check if your family sells anything illegal under the table? Or is it your personal initiative and we should part ways for tonight with a promise you're not doing this to anyone ever again?

Sakura grabs Suo's shoulder with strength, seeing his expression turning grim. Not for the faint hearted for sure, the guy shivers under his gaze.

– I-I won't do anything!

– Break the promise and I'll break your spine.

That sweet, almost childishly excited tone with a wide smile never fails to terrify him. Sakura slowly lets Suo go, stepping back to allow for a feint but he doesn't even try. For the best, poor idiot is near fainting. Suo grabs a can from the guys hands and turns to him.

– Ah, such a night! Sakura-kun, have you all decided on a date of our trip?

Back to normal in a matter of seconds, as usual.

– Not yet but we're thinking of buying tickets to that concert in may.

– Oh? I'm in. Now give me a minute and I'll be back at the table.

Of course the canned evidence goes straight to Umemiya and Tsubaki. After the incident is reported and left in capable hands, Suo walks up to him and gently pulls him by the hand to the table.

The food is amazing here usually but has lost it's taste to him so he eats salty snacks Suo always has on hand for him since he first experienced what a pain in the ass low blood pressure can be. Sakura is 99 percent sure it won't happen again anytime soon but Suo likes to be ready and well, snacks are always nice.

By the time everyone start saying goodbye he is completely calm and content, laughing at Kiryu's joke, feeling warmth wash over him from the hand on his knee.

He closes the door to his apartment behind them, turns the lock and light on. Suo stretches with a hum, turns around to give him a genuine smile. The way he looks at him, seriously... Makes something inside calm down and immediately shuts up his doubts.

– You didn't have to worry, I was checking the rumour going around about him. Sadly right, but better to catch it now than later. And thank you, mr. Hero.

If it wasn't for one eye Suo would wink, he just knows. Sakura scoffs.

– I know you got it under control it's just... Nevermind.

– Jealous?

Suo teases, he rolls his eyes. Warm fingers glide over his face, cupping his cheek.

– Thank you, Sakura.

The earnest tone makes him weak in seconds. And the look in his eye, like he's talking straight to his soul, hugging all his anxieties.

– I'm the luckiest to have such a caring, protective person by my side. I love you.

Slow, gentle, heartfelt kiss. He brings Suo closer by the collar of his shirt, deepening it and eventually looses sense of time. When his own worry and apologetic notes from Suo settle, he breaks the contact and lightly pushes Suo into the room, then again to sit him down on the futon. That surprise on his face again!

– Haruka, is something wrong?

The string snaps.

– Apparently! Since you looked like you've seen a fucking miracle when I came up to you! The hell were you thinking, huh? That I'm just going to ignore some asshole undressing you with his eyes and then trying to drug you? Who are you taking me for?!

Suo's puzzled expression finally changes to a more relaxed one. He pats the futon and Sakura falls near him with a growl.

– Idiot.

– Perhaps I am. Sorry, I shouldn't have worried you.

– No. Worry me all you want, ok?

Suo sighs and smiles, lowering his gaze.

– Okay. And by the way, I meant it as a joke first but I did enjoy you stepping in. Very classic Sakura Haruka of you. Although I hate being the damsel in distress...

– Pffft, you were a hunter in disguise, we both know you'd easily make him eat dirt if need be. I just hate the idea of someone looking at you like that. Should've given him a friendly fist!

The anger washes away under Suo's gaze. Silent reassurance, another apology he doesn't need, a promise to be as safe as possible. No words needed, he can feel it now. It hasn't always been this way, it took them a while to see through defenses and masks.

Sakura bites his lips. Why did he ended up blowing up on Suo of all people? That's not who his negative emotions should be pointed at.

– I'm glad you were there for me. Say, my hero...

Suo takes his hand and lays himself on the futon with a smirk, pulling.

– Would you mind celebrating our little victory? I can show you how grateful I am in great detail.

The wave of arousal knocks every bad thing out of his head. Damn it, how does he manage looking so fine without any specific effort? But it's not the visuals, if he's honest, the hottest thing about Suo is him being Suo. The energy, personality, values. Sakura fell in love with his being, not just body. The body in question however was madly attractive.

– Only if I top.

Suo laughs, yanking him on his knees, wrapping strong hands around his neck in a hug. Warm breath teasing his lips, sparks of playfulness in wine-colored eye.

– Oh? My captain wants to finally take the lead?

– Shut the fuck up.

Sakura kisses him for the lack of a better argument but it seems to be enough. In the morning he doesn't even remember what he was so irritated about – someone's definitely a magician when it comes to relaxing his mind.

Seems like he was pissed about how good this silk shirt sitted on his boyfriend... Suo will tease him till the end of time about those ripped off buttons. Sakura almost doesn't mind.

#suosakuweek2025 #suosaku #slight tw of a weird dude with a weird drink

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hunterssm00n · 5 months ago

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Adore

Yandere! Sheriff OC / part 4 /

I'll give you everything...

*cw include stalking, yandere behavior, abuse of authority, obsession, and dark themes* MDNI - 18+

♡˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ♡

I make the short drive to the local coffee shop on my first break, at nine in the am the next day. The whole morning I’d done nothing but think about what transpired last night - what I allowed myself to do. What I thought about while I did it. And why, in gods name, I’m not as disgusted with myself as I should be.

It’s a lot to unpack, and the work day is sure to be long.

I wait in line to order my usual - a white chocolate iced mocha, even through the freezing temperatures outside. Stepping up to the counter, I smile at the woman behind the register, and before I can ask for my usual, she speaks first.

“Your order has already been paid for - I'll get it started for ya.”

I’m taken aback, and for a moment I think she may be talking to someone else. However, looking around, I realize I’m the only one in line at the moment. "W-What?" I'm so confused I barely react when she reaches out to take my coffee card from my outstretched hand, purposely not taking my debit card which was also clutched in my palm, and stamps it before handing it back to me. It can't be, I think. Surely not here.

The nice woman behind the counter, who takes my order every day I come in here, grins at me knowingly, and remarks, “He’s still back there if you wanna say thank you. Lucky girl.”

I already know what, who, I’m going to see.

Sure enough, I see his tall, broad frame clearly from over the bottles of syrup and espresso machines. His imposing figure is enough to make one look twice, and enough to make me melt inside. His dark hair is slicked back atop his head how he normally wears it, and he's laughing and chatting with an elderly couple at a table near him. On anyone else, that particular hairstyle might look weird, like some gangster wannabe. But on him, it looks sexy. Everything about him is sexy, I realize yet again, as my stomach drops. I can't deny my body's reaction to him. I think about what I did last night imagining him - imagining us - and I know my face burns pink; I can feel it.

There's no way out of this situation. If I deny the coffee to the barista, then they'll think I'm rude or ungrateful. Since I come here almost every day, I don't want them to treat me differently because I wouldn't accept a generous free coffee. If I offer to pay, there won't be any point because it's already paid for. I'm not one to make a scene - unless a situation really calls for it - and he probably knows that I won't make a scene over something as simple as someone buying me a coffee. I know it's not drugged or laced with anything because the barista is about to make it fresh for me right now. In my mind, I think: what's the problem here? This man has practically been terrorizing me for the past few weeks - he should at least buy me a coffee. He owes me. But at the same time, I don't want to take anything from him. I don't want to feed into his obsession; don't want to let him think that what he's doing is in any way okay... right?

I don't see any other way out of this. I smile at the barista, hoping it's convincing, and slowly begin my walk towards the back counter. Towards him.

It takes everything in me to keep my head up and not to look down at the floor. I don't want to seem meek, or timid - which is how most people see me, until they piss me off. But that takes a lot. I'm not angry now, but I am annoyed. Annoyed at him for putting me in this situation in the first place - but also annoyed at myself for enjoying his attention. I don't want to enjoy it. If this was any guy other than Ray Donnovan, I would have gone up to them by now to tell them that I wasn't interested, and to buzz off. I would have made my disinterest very clear. So why can't I do that with him? Why do I secretly enjoy what he is doing to me, in the most depraved, twisted parts of my mind?

Ray has his back turned to me for the moment, still talking to the elderly couple, but I know he'll notice me soon. At this point he can probably damn near sense me. And if he knows what my perfume smells like (which, let's be honest, he probably does!), then he'll definitely know it's me. Swallowing hard, I walk behind him as lightly as possible, trying not to draw any attention to myself. I don't know what I'll do if and when he turns around; I don't know what I'll say. I don't want to be meek and timid, but I'm thinking maybe I can get my coffee as quick as possible and escape out of here before he sees me. Maybe a bit cowardly, but I don't really feel like facing him at the moment; I don't know what I'll say or do.

His voice is so deep it travels through my whole body, practically quaking me in my steps. My knees feel weak and unsteady, and I hope I don't collapse onto the floor behind him; being this close to him is making me feel anxious and... something else. Even though he is not currently talking to me, I can't help but hang onto every word I can make out from him over the normal sounds of coffee being made, people talking across tables, and the local pop radio station blaring from the speakers somewhere above my head. I hope the barista makes my drink fast today as I stop a few feet away from Ray; not too close so as hopefully not to have him notice me (or god forbid, smell me).

He is so much larger than I am; a fact I hadn’t really realized until just now, when I’m practically right beside him. He has to be at least six-two, though I would actually bet that he may be even taller than that. He smells good too; a hint of cologne, mixed with the sweet and spicy aroma of pure masculine musk. Purely the scent of a man. It damn near has my mouth watering.

I try not to look at him, fearing that the weight of my gaze will have him feeling someone watching him; feeling my presence close by, knowing that I'm near. It all sounds so dramatic in my head. But if I didn't see him everywhere I went, or always seem to have him show up when I least expect it, I would probably think the same. Instead, I keep my eyes focused on what the barista is doing, knowing that as soon as she's done with my drink I can hopefully bolt out of here unnoticed.

But right at that moment, I feel immense heat at my left side, and my heart rate spikes as the smell of him increases tenfold. Fuck.

"Kelli."

At that exact moment, as soon as his deep voice breathes out my name in what sounds like reverence, the barista brings my coffee to the counter. "White chocolate mocha," she announces, catching my eye and winking not-so-subtly. My face is still hot, and now burns even more as I walk up to the counter on shaky legs to grab my drink. I realize that I'm not sure I even need the caffeine anymore; I feel like a live wire.

Feeling his eyes on me the whole time, I thank her and bid her a good day, my cheerful voice not relaying the butterflies of both anxiety and anticipation fluttering madly in my gut. His eyes burning into my back, I put the lid on my drink, carefully so my trembling hands don't knock the cup over, and reach for a straw. I feel footsteps on the floor behind me, heavy ones, and I know there's no quick escape from him now. However, I still attempt one.

Not even looking back at him, I begin walking towards the door, stirring my drink to blend all the milk and syrups together with the coffee. I hear him behind me saying goodbye to the older couple he'd been talking to before he follows me - and I don't even have to look back at him to know that he's following. I can feel his heavy footsteps pounding on the wood floor underneath my feet, harder the closer he gets. It gives me shivers, knowing that he's coming after me; knowing about the inevitable interaction that will follow.

I pull the door open and cold air from outside rushes into the warm coffee shop. I'm not fast enough to yank the door closed behind me before one of his massive hands catches it and prevents me from shutting it. The thought of those hands and the things they could be capable of makes me shiver, and not from the freezing temperatures outside. I stamp down the thoughts of what I'd done last night the moment it comes to the surface of my brain. Now is a really bad time to be rehashing that.

"Kelli," He says my name again as I walk down the stairs, gripping onto the railing for dear life so my legs don't give out on me. I don't stop; just keep walking to my car, not sure of what else to do that doesn't involve dumping my mocha over his head. But I would never do that - the waste of coffee would be a catastrophe.

Speaking of coffee, I take a sip of the cold drink despite the equally cold air. Delicious.

Ray suddenly appears beside me, nearly making me jump out of my skin. "Did I get it right?"

It's after a moment that I realize he's referring to the coffee. I blame my slow thoughts on exhaustion and anxiety, both of which he's partly to blame for.

I look up at him for the first time, and the eye contact sends a jolt of electricity through me despite the situation. He's looking down at me so earnestly, sincerely wanting to know if he got my order right. If he wasn't stalking me, I would feel like the luckiest girl in the world for landing such a man. I mean, part of me still- No, I do not feel lucky. Absolutely not.

I speak to him for the first time ever, I realize, and I simply say, "You know you did."

A slow, almost sheepish smile crosses his lips, as if he's embarrassed for knowing my coffee order without ever asking me what it was. "I guess I do, huh?"

I roll my eyes, because I don't know what else to do, and reach into my pocket for my key fob to unlock my car. Even though the air is chilly, my cheeks are hot. I really need my body to stop reacting to him in such a way - it's not helping my case. "I have to get back to work. Thanks for the surprise." I don't really know why I thank him, other than because technically, what he did was an act of kindness. I just wonder what his ulterior motives are.

"Wait," He steps in front of me now and I almost walk into him. I stop dead in my tracks, and there's barely any space between us. My eyes are level with his vest clad chest, and it's wider than the width of my shoulders. My heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest as I slowly raise my eyes to look up at him, and I have to crane my head back far because he's so tall. He's looking at me like he wants to say something, lips parted, but he doesn't speak. It's almost like he's afraid to say what he's thinking because he knows it will scare me away. However, I find myself disappointed that he doesn't talk; doesn't he at least owe me that?

Finding my courage, I ask him, "What do you want from me?"

For a moment he looks at me, just looks at me, and it's almost to the point where it starts to make me uncomfortable. I'm in my work clothes, covered in dust and dirt from working in the warehouse, but it's like none of that matters to him. He looks at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen; like I'm his most cherished person. Like I'm his lover. It's like in this moment I have a glimpse into his soul, and he's laying bare all of the things he's unable to voice; all of the words he's afraid to say out loud. His vulnerability makes me feel equally exposed, and I don't really know what to think about it.

He looks like there's a lot that he wants to say, but he seems to realize the time and place that we're in at the moment: on the sidewalk of a busy street, during the morning rush at all the local coffee shops and cafes, while I'm on a mere fifteen minute break from my soul sucking job. So instead of saying all that he wants to say, he simply answers: "A chance."

I blink up at him, because that's all I can do. If all he wants is a chance, why then doesn't he just ask me out on a date like a normal person? But strangely, his admission has me feeling something like compassion towards him. He could have said anything he wanted, but he chose to say that. Why? My inexperience in the dating and flirting field is probably painfully showing at the moment, because I don't have a response for him. It will probably take the rest of the day for me to even properly digest this first real interaction, and to maybe come up with an afterthought of a response. Even then, I don't know if I'll be able to think of one.

Plus, who the fuck wants to flirt with their stalker? Not me. Certainly not me.

He sighs, a crease between his eyebrows where there wasn't one before. "You should get back, I don't want you to be late."

With that he walks around to the drivers side of my car and opens my door for me, and I guess the conversation is over. As I slide into my car seat, I look up at him once again, wondering if he's going to say anything else, but he remains silent. He waits until I'm buckled in before he leans down into the still open car door. Looking me in the eye, he says seriously, "I hope you have a good day." and I can tell he really means it. With one last look at me, he shuts my car door for me, and then he disappears from my window, walking around to the back of my car so I'm free to drive away.

As I pull out of the parking spot and into the street, I look in my rearview mirror to see that he's still standing in the same spot he was in behind my car, watching me go.

Driving back to my workplace, I know I'll be thinking about this interaction for the rest of the day, whether I want to or not. And the worst part is: I do.

♡˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ♡

This is an original work of mine, as are the characters.

I do not own the song 'Adore' by Cashmere Cat and Ariana Grande. The above picture is from pinterest, and there's a link attached to the original post.

#soft yandere #yandere cop #my drabbles #my work #mine**#my writing #yandere oc #yandere #hunterssm00n #yandere sheriff #yande.re #stalker oc #stalker aesthetic #stalker cop #stalker sheriff #obsessive love

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hang1n · 5 months ago

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Thinking about Kyran and Alec (aka childhood best friends to acquaintances to estranged frenemies who know eachother too well):

We've known eachother our whole lives, and we've watched eachother grow. If we haven't met, we would have been completely different people. But we've been dead to eachother since then, and we haven't spoken in a year.

A friendship that used to be everything. Where we smiled and laughed about anything. Where we fought and screamed over the stupidest things. Where both of us were too stubborn to apologize first and admit we were wrong. Where both of us got hurt because nobody else will know how to hurt me as much as you do. Where both of us learned how to love with our whole hearts and whole being. Where both of us will never forget.

Childhood friends are like old wounds. The kind that you only remember when you press down on it. The kind that gapes at the center of your chest and replaces where your heart once was, overflowing with crimson. You're left with the reminder that you'll never be able to patch it up.

Like. I hate you. I still find fragments of you in every person I meet. I hope we never see eachother again. I still turn around when someone says your name. I don't think we'll ever go back to how things were. I wish I hated you.

Meeting you again is opening a box of memories hidden underneath my bed during spring cleaning. Meeting you again is getting ice-cream that you used to always have during summer for myself. Meeting you again is carving a pumpkin for Halloween during autumn and remembering how ugly yours were. Meeting you again is walking pass the old playground that used to be “our spot” and looking at the snow that should've been snowmen built by our hands during winter.

You used to be a figment of my imagination. Some ghost that would haunt the corners of my mind, but you're as alive and you can be and you're standing in front of me. Did you think of me as much as I did? We know eachother’s deepest fears and we know eachother’s childish dreams, but I don't know what you thought of the new episode of the show we used to watch together. Do you even watch it anymore, or have you forgotten about it too?

I wish I could say that I wish you the best. Your happiness hurts. I hope you find everything you're looking for. They'll never understand you like I do. I never really understood you, and you never understood me like I needed you to. I miss your warmth. I want you to never say a word to me.

We're we ever friends? Maybe you thought of our relationship as a skewed form of love, somewhere you could lay bare your worst self and your best self. I did that too, probably. So I know it's hypocritical for me to say that I wish we never ended up like this. But I really do wish that things had gone differently. We both knew that we had nowhere else to go, and we both accepted eachother as they were. Maybe that's enough.

You're my home. Sometimes looking at you is like seeing a stranger. You're the only constant in my life. I miss you even when we're right next to eachother. You know what I'm thinking even without words. I'm so jealous of you. I'd die for you in a heartbeat yet I'll never tell you the truth.

We're not quite little kids anymore. We haven't been for a long, long time. But no matter how long we go on without talking, I'll always have your back. No questions asked.

#itsfunneh yhs #yhs itsfunneh #itsfunneh #alec yhs #kyran yhs #kylec #we got kylec relationship drabble before kyran drabble.. coming soon i swear #they're everything to me btw #you can pry them from cold dead hands #i could talk about this forever #nobody gets them like i do

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kaliforniahigh · 1 year ago

Note

Hey could you writing something where the reader needs comfort because they are really struggling with body dysmorphia or just their body Imagine. You can choose who comforts them.

That's if your comfy with it

Thank you xx

Thanks for the request! Inserted a little bit of my own struggles with body image if that's okay :) Decided to go with Noah for this one.

Warnings: body dysmorphia, reader is self deprecating towards herself.

You were in the bathroom for well over 1 hour at this point.

Your phone was perched on the counter top, a Youtube video entitled "how to contour your face" playing on repeat.

You had your make-up spread all over the place.

You have probably washed your face three or four times, you lost count of it by the first time you got it all wrong.

The girl on the video already had a perfect face, and it just got prettier when she blended everything seamslessly.

You didn't have the same luck. When you tried to blend out the contour, you just looked like you had dirt on your face.

But you had to get this right. How else are you supposed to hide your big nose and your double chin?

Surely surgery wasn't an option because you were scared shitless of being cut open.

You were so concentrated (and frustrated), that you didn't notice Noah watching you from afar.

When you threw your make-up brush on the counter rather aggresively, he decided to intervene.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong, baby?", he stepped closer.

"I just look fucking stupid, can't even get my make-up right"

"Hey, don't talk like that. Here, drop this and come sit down on the bed for a while"

He took you by the hands and sat you down on his bed, brushing his hands over your arms to calm oy down a little.

"Why are you so frustrated because of your make-up?", he asked you.

"Because I want to get this right"

"And why are you so intent on getting this right?", he knew where you were going with this, bue he wanted you to talk to him.

"Because I want to learn how to do this so I can hide this ugly nose that I have", you finally admitted out loud.

"And why would you want to hide this beautiful nose?", he booped you to get his point across.

"It is not cute, it's big and shaped like a potato"

"I'm gonna tell you something and I need you to listen to me, ok?", you nodded "I love you because you're you, I chose you because you're you. These days, everyone just wants to look the same and it's heartbreaking that they made you feel like you needed to change yourself to feel accepted. When the next trend rises they'll changes themselves to look like something else. You remain true to yourself and that is what I love the most about you"

You had a few tears escape from you eyes. Feeling overwhelmed by his words.

"Thank you. I guess I've been having a really bad week. I don't usually feel like this"

"It's ok, and when you feel like this I need you to tell me. You don't have to go through this alone", you nodded, putting your hands around his neck and pulling him in a hug, thight against you.

#noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian #noah sebastian fluff #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #bad omens smut #bad omens imagine #bad omens #bad omens fluff #fluffy friday

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misc-obeyme · 7 months ago

Note

I'm in shock right now and just can't accept everything in that post. Well yeah, supposedly every story has an ending sooner or later, but I feel like it came out of nowhere, like it wasn't supposed to be there.

It seemed like everything they added to the game - features, songs, and everything else - made it seem like the end of the game was a long way off, and now the most interesting and fun part was supposed to happen, and then *bang* it was over. I would have preferred the game to die slowly and leisurely, rather than having a post at some point that the story was over and that was it. (I understand that was probably in their plan, but it still feels like it came out of nowhere.)

Of course, the good thing is that the game won't die altogether, and there will still a lot of new things in January 2025, and I really hope it's OG and/or NB related, even if the main story will be over.

I think this is how a lot of us are feeling right now. It's likely they've been planning this for a while. Which makes me wonder if the NB app in general didn't perform as well as they were hoping. This could have been a contingency plan all along, like if they don't make x amount of money or they aren't meeting y goals for the app, then they'll end it before 2025.

But it does feel like it came out of nowhere for us because there was no indication that it was coming.

I also was expecting it to be a slow death rather than being cut off so abruptly. But now that I know there is an end, it also allows me to focus on the fan content that I prefer anyway.

I'm really curious to see what they do in the future. They seemed to make a point that this was not the end of Obey Me as a whole, but just of the apps and the story of Nightbringer. I'm intrigued to see what that looks like.

#we'll see what they come out with for new stuff #I'm not holding my breath or anything but I am curious #obey me #anon asks #misc answers

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madcrona · 1 month ago

Text

I'm just gonna say it.

I have problems with this fandom idea of "anyone can make whatever they want, it doesn't have to adhere to canon, if you don't like don't read, etc. etc."

On paper it's a nice idea, and I get it. We don't want to overly police what fandoms consider "acceptable" because that's a deep rabbit hole to fall down. Everyone has their own tolerances for what's OK and what isn't, and we can't really set any ground rules when everyone looks at things in different ways. What's OK to me may not be for someone else and vice versa.

And I get that the idea is meant to encourage people to explore new ideas while discouraging others from shouting them down. Which is what you want to do when trying to keep a fandom alive and healthy. And yeah, a lot of these odd takes are harmless in the grand scheme of things. It's not like riots are going to break out because of the umpteenth coffee shop AU that maybe has one character conveniently ignore a part of their backstory that the author thought was contradictory to their overall character. A lot of these fics do merit the response of just moving on with your day if you don't agree with it.

But I am willing to bet good money that just about everyone reading this post has come across a couple of fics in the past that are just wrong. I don't mean that in the sense that it has some content that just doesn't sit well with you no matter what the context of it is. I mean in the sense that it seems almost designed from the ground up to go against everything you understand about the canon material. Like they're going out of their way to mischaracterize just about everyone in the story to prop up their bad take that completely misunderstands everything, or deliberately write everyone wrong just to prop up one OC as the greatest and most amazing who can do no wrong and makes everyone fall to their knees in deific worship just at the sight of them.

You might still say that it's better to ignore those and move on, and you're probably right. But that feeling of anger and disgust that wells up inside of you when you see that happens because you care about the fandom you're part of. You care about the characters that are getting mishandled, you care about the setting that's being twisted into something else, you care about the plot that's getting mangled beyond recognition. We can argue about what's a level of healthy care, but regardless, you still care. And that means that anger won't always go away when you try to disregard the fic and move on.

So what can you do?

Well, most people head off to write something new to counteract the bad fic they saw, and that's entirely valid. Probably the healthier option, even. But sometimes that just doesn't work. Because it's not specifically about showing other people how to handle the concept right, it's about showing that one specific writer who's fucking it all up how wrong they are. And making a retaliation fic isn't always guaranteed to be viable because they'll likely ignore it, or maybe you already have a dozen other projects you're working on, or you have other things going on in your life that make it less possible to do something like that.

So no, essentially walking up to that author's home with a list of 90 reasons why their fic is trash and is built on the worst take you've ever seen and nailing it to their door isn't the healthiest option. It's also likely to get ignored or disregarded, and the fic somehow has fans and they'll just end up going after you for whatever reason they can think of.

But isn't there a part of you that feels better after getting it out of your system?

#fanfic #fandom #fanart #writing #creative writing #writers #writing community #fandom ettiquette #critique #media #media criticism

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eatingfireflies · 1 year ago

Text

I want to talk about this thing

And I have a proposal:

The name of Dr Ratio's warp event is connected to this and, incidentally, Aventurine

Disclaimer: 1) I'm not normal or rational about Dr Ratio. 2) The conclusion is supported only by the English translation as far as I know. 3) Maybe the conclusion is a bit of a leap but I'm serious about everything else.

Let's go!

The conversation Aventurine and Acheron had towards the end is probably up there with End of Evangelion for me in terms of comforting. There's something comforting about Acheron's Nihility because there's still a drop of colour in there and she thinks it's enough. It's the kind of emptiness that accepts anything and don't we all need a little black hole to chuck all our worries into? 🥲

Before the 'grand finale', Aventurine says that sleep is a rehearsal of death. After his death, Acheron agrees and adds that we sleep in order to prepare for the real thing.

And then Aventurine asks her a question:

And Acheron's answer is: this isn't true and Aventurine knows this himself. We don't get born to die. There's no reason for being born, just like there is no meaning in life.

(There's only chance. In stories, things happen for a reason but life isn't story-shaped.)

So: there is no meaning in life. But the way we live our lives gives meaning to our deaths.

Then she tells him to look at his pocket because his friend has already given him the answer.

And I was like 'Finally !! I've been waiting for this reveal!' because what can be said at this moment that could help Aventurine?

There are 2 phases in his plan:

1) Prove that death is possible in the dreamland. Since all the visitors in Penacony are protected by Harmony, this is pretty hard to do but not impossible. We know other people have done it before. Aventurine uses Acheron the emanator of Nihility to cut through the Harmony protection and finish him off.

And Aventurine wins his wager! But the plan doesn’t end there.

2) Move forward to the Real Penacony somehow and investigate the truth about the Watchmaker. And then figure out how to come back. Which honestly sounds like a tall order, but what else can Aventurine do?

Well, he can stop at phase 1.

Acheron says that the conclusion of phase 1 is a win-win situation for the IPC, which is true. Aventurine's death will give the IPC a reason to investigate Penacony and the Family. We know Jade and the others aren't even allowed to go into the dreamscape, but with the death of the IPC envoy, they'll have the right to make some demands from the Family.

If Aventurine stops here, he still would have won.

We know from his conversation with his future self that he's tired and ready to stop. He wants to come home and be with his family.

Aventurine is pretty much a mess: he's a child blessed by Gaiathra Triclops, which gives him godly luck. This luck has prevented him from dying countless times before (even the times when he was actually fine with it). He wants to die but also he's terrified of... dying?

Truly embodying the 'Why is it so hard to die, so impossible to live?'* vibe.

(*From Tanith Lee's The Secret Books of Paradys 1, if you're interested)

Or maybe more accurately, he's terrified of losing everything just like he did in Sigonia. You can look at it in 2 ways: without Mama Fenge's blessing, Kakavasha would have died with the rest of the Avgin. Or Kakavasha's luck came at the expense of literally everything he holds dear.

With Acheron's help, he has finally achieved the death his own luck has been protecting him from. So why should he move forward?

Well, let's see what Acheron meant when she said Aventurine's friend has the answer.

And I... have no idea.

The underlying message here is easy enough to understand: Acheron has already answered Aventurine's question. He can move forward and keep living because that's what will give his eventual death more meaning. But hearing this from Acheron is a bit of a cold comfort: she accepts everything and also views everything impartially.

Ratio's note is a reminder to Aventurine that someone in the waking world is personally invested in Aventurine's well-being. Not because of what Aventurine can do for the IPC (as a consultant, I assume Ratio gets paid whether Aventurine succeeds or not, but also Aventurine has already succeeded with Phase 1).

And not because Ratio gets anything out of it... well, the Stellaron files maybe? But he already has that. Or whatever it is he went to Penacony for, because the two of them are being cagey about it.

Whatever it is, Ratio has already gotten what he wanted. This note is an extra then, something that he gave Aventurine because he wanted to.

I'll come back to what I think he meant, but I need to talk about the Jp translation (sorry I know I should check the original Cn instead but I don't know Cn at all 😭 it's hard enough for me to catch the nuance in Jp let alone a language I can't parse at all), because the word used is different and this is why I'm unsure.

Post by a Jp user about Ratio's note. I can't post a screencap because there's no more space 🥹 But here's the text:

「処方箋」

夢の中で不可能なのは「死」ぬことではなく、「熟睡」することだ。生きろ。幸運を祈る。

In this note, Ratio uses 熟睡 (jukusui), which means deep sleep. This is deep uninterrupted sleep, the kind that you wake up from feeling refreshed. Or the kind that you have when you take sleep meds. Or the kind that you have when you're contented with your life and not burdened with ambition or anxieties or curiosity.

I don't know.

We know that it's possible to sleep in the dreamscape because Ratio wakes Aventurine up in the beginning of the quest. At the very least, he seemed to be dreaming so I assume he was asleep? And they seem to be in the dreamscape because there's an origami bird tail behind him... except Dr Blues also appears in reality so maybe we can't rule anything out just yet.

I'm not 100% sure what Ratio means about 熟睡. But what about 'Dormancy'?

This is easier. The disclaimer here is I'm not a big fan of the English translation in general (especially the way Dr Ratio was translated in English) but I'll let myself have this.

Dormancy is (thank you wiki) a period in an organism's life cycle when growth, development, and (in animals) physical activity are temporarily stopped. It's also connected to 'deep sleep'. Hey, we're getting somewhere!

Basically, hibernation. Ratio seems to be confirming what we already know: the dream is falling apart because everything in the universe will succumb to Nihility in the end. Maybe the dream was created to preserve a memory (just like how the IPC was preserving Chadwick's memory in Penacony), but the dream is also starting to crumble.

Maybe this isn't the most comforting thing to tell Aventurine, but it does confirm what he probably already suspected (about the truth behind Penacony) and it also tells him that change is constant. Moving forward means he could potentially get out of a situation he doesn't like.

And he does move forward. He tells his past self that there will come a time in the future when he'll come home to his family, but not now. For now he can keep changing and making his own meaning.

Dr Ratio's warp banner is called Panta rhei. 'Everything flows', which says that things are always in a state of flux (change). For example, you can't step into the same river twice because the water is moving and is constantly getting replaced (thanks again, wiki). This is the same about humans: we are always changing both physically and mentally. We both are and are not (wiki again).

Doesn’t it sound like what he said in his doctor's prescription?

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail spoilers #dr ratio #hsr aventurine #penacony #d metas #cw death and nihilism

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